I am almost 30 and especially in the last couple of years, I grew a lot as a person. One of the things I learned is that my time is precious and you do not want to waste it. Maybe you also have things that you avoid, ignore or just stopped doing just because you don’t have the energy for it. This is my list of things I don’t have the time for.
Things I don’t have the time for
1. Toxic people and fake friends
Especially, the last couple of years I realized that you don’t want to be friends with everyone. When I was a teenager I was trying so hard so that everyone would like me. But that is definitely impossible. And these days, I have only people in my life that inspire me and really care about me. I don’t longer have the time for toxic people. Those are the people who always complain about everything, who like to gossip and just are very negative. Everyone can have a bad day, but if someone is negative all the time, I just try to avoid them. Same for fake friends. I got a burn-out when I was 23-24 and suddenly people started to ghost me. And that was the moment I realized they were never really friends. They only wanted me so they could invite extra people to their parties and when they needed my help. But when I needed them, they ignored me.
2. Watching and reading the news
News always contains mostly negative news, especially these days. I realized it was affecting my mood a lot. I was feeling sad and I was crying. That was not what I wanted, so I stopped watching and reading the news. This does not mean, I am ignoring the rest of the world and I am being selfish. Now, I don’t watch the news anymore I don’t always feel sad anymore. If something big happens, I will still hear it from someone else. Then I can ask myself, how can I help? Instead of feeling sad about it, I now use that energy to help.
3. Binge-watching
I also realized I don’t want to waste my time anymore on stupid things. I was binge-watching every weekend and wasted my whole weekend. I even binge-watched things that made me happy. I was mostly watching those things because everyone else was watching it too. Now, I barely watch Netflix anymore. I still have an account, so I can still watch a few things like ‘Bridgerton’ and other fun movies/shows. But I am not binge-watching anymore. I just wait for a day that I have bad cramps and then I watch a few episodes. But on other days, I am just having fun doing other things.
4. Complaining
A lot of people are negative thinkers. We think of what could wrong instead of thinking about what could go right. But if something happens, we complain about it. And not just one time, but several times to everyone. We complain about the weather, traffic, our job, our boss and more. Sometimes you are not even aware that you are doing it. But I am now more aware of my thoughts and I am trying to redirect them more positively. But I already notice a difference. When someone tells me that the weather sucks, I say rain is good for the trees and plants because they need water too. I see more positive things in every situation. But I do not have the time to complain anymore. If you have a problem, find out if you can change it and then change it. If you can’t change it, focus on something else.
5. Staying stuck in the past
A lot of things happened in my life. I got a burn-out when I was a student, I lost several people and I got bullied very bad in high school. I could focus on that for the rest of my life. But the thing is that it already happened, it is over and I can’t change it. Thinking about it all the time is not going to help me. I want to focus on what is possible and more positive things. The only moment that really matters is the present moment. Make sure you are having fun at this moment and don’t worry about the past.
6. Seeking attention or validation from other people
When I was a teenager, I cared about how many friends I had and if they liked me. Luckily, for me, I grew up without Instagram. I was already older when Instagram started. But at this moment, I don’t care too much about people’s opinions. If I like what I am doing, then I keep doing it. I don’t need their validation. I am also not desperate to get attention anymore. I am fine with who I am and where I am. And getting 10 or 1 million likes does not define me.
7. Things that don’t make me happy
Binge-watching was one of the things I did not really enjoy. Some movies and shows were great, but most of the time, I was just watching it because other people were watching it too. I wanted to follow the trends. The thing with trends is that we feel the pressure to follow those trends. But you just can’t simply like everything that is trending. TikTok is very popular these days, but if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it. Every time I ask myself, do I really like doing this or not? I recently rediscovered I want to put more time into reading, creating content that helps people and writing. In return I stopped doing things like watching Netflix, TikTok dances (okay, some of them are fun), following specific challenges or following a diet.
These are the things I don’t have the time for anymore. What are the things you are avoiding, ignoring or stopped doing? Let me know in the comments.
Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash