We all have met that one extremely negative person. It is not fun to be around them at all and you just want to run away from them. Of course, that is absolutely something you can do when it is a stranger. But most of the time this toxic person is someone we personally know. Maybe it is a friend, family member or co-worker. Then it is almost impossible to avoid them completely, so do you deal with toxic people?
What are toxic people?
Not everyone who complains is toxic. Everyone can have a bad day and complain about their day. I think that is pretty normal. But you know when someone is really toxic because as soon as they walk into the room or maybe office, the energy changes. It feels heavier and darker. But there are other ways to recognize a toxic person.
– They are never truly happy for you if you achieved something, They are extremely negative and can’t see anything positive. So when something good happens, they always see the negative things that can happen. Toxic people are also very jealous of other people. If you did something great, they can’t be happy for you because they wished it happened to them.
– They are always complaining about everything. They complain about simple things like the weather and traffic, but also about their job and other people. Things will never be good enough for them.
– They bring other people down. Toxic people love to talk about other people and always in a negative way. They bring others down to feel better about themselves and most of the time they are jealous too.
– It is also exhausting to be around that kind of person. You can feel they suck the energy out of you.
How to deal with toxic people?
When a stranger is very toxic, you will never see them again after that. But most of the time we are dealing with coworkers, friends or family members who are toxic. First of all, you have to know that misery loves company. So if you are spending time around those people, you have to be strong. It is very easy to lower your energy too and become negative/toxic too. You don’t want that.
When you have a very toxic friend, you can always talk about their behaviour. Maybe they are willing to change and be less toxic again. But you can’t change people, especially when they don’t want to. In that case, it is just better to end the friendship. This is a big step, so make sure you are making this decision too fast.
But sometimes you have to work together with those people or they are your family and it is impossible to avoid them. There are a few things that might work for you.
– Try to avoid them as much as possible. When you are spending time with your family, sit on the other side of the room or spend less time together. Maybe you can avoid that coworker too.
– Excuse yourself and walk away when they are complaining to you. Say you are getting something to drink, fresh air or say you have to go to the bathroom. Or just be honest and say you don’t want to hear this or talk about this.
– Try to change the conversation topic and make it more positive. Start talking about a Netflix show you like or plans for the weekend. It can be anything, as long it is not negative anymore.
– Try to stay calm no matter what. Misery loves company. It can be a challenge to stay calm and positive around those people but it is just better than becoming a toxic person too.
And when all of these things don’t work, then maybe you should talk to your family member and explain that you don’t want this and you need space. It does not matter if it is an aunt or your parents, it is never good to keep unhealthy relationships. You can also decide to quit your job and find something new. You should definitely find a better place when your whole workplace is toxic. You deserve something better.